All I've ever wanted to do in life is be creative.
I tried music, and that didn't work. Though I love music I just lack any sort of musical ability, aside from being able to appreciate it.
I've drawn, and I've painted, but I'm no Monet. I enjoy the art, but it doesn't enthrall me.
I've taken thousands of pictures in effort to be "artsy" but I haven't produced anything awe inspiring.
The two creative paths I have ever succeeded at in life are writing and film. I am drawn to these with incredible force. Writing is completely satisfying, and the only way I have ever found to unwind me completely. I find myself imagining stories I write, stories I read, as motion pictures. I fantasize about it almost constantly. The process of filmmaking actually gives me butterflies.
Yet, here I am, slaving away over my MATH homework, in my effort to obtain a teaching degree. I love children, there is no doubt about that. I have no doubts that THIS career is practical, compared to my other options. But I doubt my choice. It feels wrong. It feels pointless. I feel like I should be writing, like I should be calling the shots on a movie set. Something. ANYTHING, other than what I'm doing.
I am far from unhappy with life, but I feel as if I'm going down the path most traveled, instead of the path I know leads to home.
